Have you ever played against an opponent that intentionally annoyed and aggravated you? Maybe you are doing the aggravating. Below are 20 of the most annoying characteristics in handball.
- The Complainer: Complains about the floors being slippery, bad bounces, unlucky breaks, the ball and everything else…all in his mind, the reasons he is not winning
- The Holier than Thou: Every hinder he calls is legitimate, but when you call one he’s astonished and offended
- The Staller: Using all of his timeouts in a practice game and taking 10 minutes between games. He can be heard shouting, “They give you three timeouts for a reason!”
- The Loon: Screaming and pumping himself up when completely overmatched and losing 20-1
- The Patronizer: Condescending and patronizing when winning 18-2, even going as far to give coaching tips between points
- Can’t count guy (always in his favor): Always wrong on the score…in his favor. This player always innocently thinks he has more points than he does and you have less points than you do
- The Quitter: Usually a player below your level, begs you for a game and after falling behind early, completely stops trying, completely wasting your time
- The Diver: Wanting to prove how hard he is trying, he dives for every ball, most of which he has no chance to get
- he Fashionista: Dresses like a pro…plays like a donkey
- Never brings a Ball: He rarely has a ball, and if he does, it’s a year old and barely bounces
- The Fibber: He loses to you every time you play, but he tells everyone at the club that you and he “go back and forth”
- The Delusionist: Now well past his prime and never a top-level player, he thinks he was a lot better than he was. “When I got a shot off the back wall, I’d just roll it out every time.”
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The Imitator: He emulates a pro and copies everything about what his hero does, from bouncing the ball in the service box to how he dresses and acts. Only problem is that he can’t play
- The Coach: Offers unsolicited advice to virtually every player, particularly those who were far better than he ever was
- The Insistent Gambler: He feels the need to bet on every practice game, creating handicaps if necessary to facilitate a wager. Once play starts, gambling guy fist pumps his short serves, crowds you on every shot, argues every point he loses and if on the verge of losing his bet, will manufacture a controversy and quit before the match ends
- If you want to win that way: Similar to the holier than thou, but the “If you want to win that way” guy makes you feel guilty for what he is convinced are unfair tactics against him, such as what he perceives to have been a double bounce when you re kill his best shot
- Hobby guy: This guy stresses, when losing, that handball is just a hobby for him and a way to blow off steam while getting some exercise, while implying it is clearly far too important to you
- The Retire-er: Proclaims to be retired after every loss, only to be the first to enter the next tournament. Also enjoys his peers and other players urging him to not retire because he is so good
- The Sulker: Treats every loss like it’s the end of the world, reciting every point to anyone who will listen for days
- The Laughter: Obnoxiously laughs after each of his errors, shocked that a player of his caliber could ever miss that type of shot
Photos courtesy of http://toosum.com/blogs/blog, www.sodahead.com
David Fink
WPH Senior Writer